Between Lenses: February Love

Latrina and Tara Victoria for their Between Lenses challenge. Each month, they give a new word and the opportunity to share photos that embody that theme. 

This month, they chose a fitting word: Love.

The minute I saw their prompt, I immediately thought of this picture of my parents. I took it in Faneuil Hall the week before Christmas last year. As usual, I was in my own world, snapping away at the lights and snowflakes beginning to fall, when I turned around and saw my parents just being my parents. No show. No posing. This is entirely candid, and they had no idea I was snapping away at them. 

Every day they have such sweet and tender moments that others search for throughout a lifetime. 

To me, this image is the essence of my parents and their unfailing love for each other.

This picture nearly brings a tear to my eye and always makes me smile.

Hold the Phone

Love. 

Searching for love.

One of the most frustrating, gut-wrenching experiences. It leads to all sorts of anxiety, anticipation, and disappointment {that is until we find the one}. 

A few weeks ago I read this NYT discussion about how Facebook, Twitter, and social media in general is too accessible, and it is inhibiting our awareness of the numerous romantic opportunities we encounter each day. 

Say what?!

Example in the discussion: In check-out line, a guy is unabashedly staring with interest at a girl in line. What does she do? She whips out her iPhone and posts a pity party FB status about her lack of boyfriend.

 ...for every moment that you're checking your Twitter feed, or your so-called friends' updates on Facebook, you're missing another opportunity to connect with somebody in real life … which could be another opportunity to fall in love.
~David Wygant

As a single girl who isn't necessarily on the hunt for Mr. Right, but wouldn't object to meeting him, I was appalled to read this. What kind of girl would rather tweet than throw a couple of flirtatious looks in the direction of a guy who is clearly interested?

Oh, crap. That's me.

Sometimes. Every so often. Occasionally.

I admit it. I use technology as a way to try to avoid awkward conversations. I use it as a defense mechanism to ward off people that might engage me in {dare I say it} conversation if I did not appear otherwise preoccupied. I am guilty of this tactic. Most of us are. We cling to technology like Linus clung to his blanket in every Peanuts comic strip.

But why?!?!?!

A good question. One for which I don't have a good, or even decent, answer. All I can think is that society today would rather retreat to technology than face real-world, real-people problems, encounters, and emotions. 

I posted a video earlier this week showing several unsuspecting strangers forced into conversation and ultimately a common friendship and camaraderie. Their initial awkward exchanges were quickly turned into disbelief that they had common interests, experiences, and even missing teeth. Though none of these turned into romantic encounters, they came out of the situation probably a happier mood than when they first began speaking. I know I always appreciate the casual conversation and well wishes for a good day from a complete stranger at Starbucks. Who knows when that informal comment about the weather or disbelief that the Red Sox lost again could turn into something lasting. We will never know if we don't seek out and take advantage of getting to know our fellow coffee drinkers, grocery shoppers, etc. 

We just have no idea that these friendly, possibly even romantic, rendezvous are even on our radar. Instead of taking the plunge, stepping up and growing a pair, we retreat to the comfort of staring at a LCD screen, scrolling through status updates and creeping on the new baby photos of some girl that was in your high school homeroom freshman year. 

I, for one, don't want to be handicapped by technology.

I want to cherish the small moments in life and give others a reason to smile because it might be the only smile they have all day. This morning, I think I'll even strike up a conversation with the same man who stops for coffee at exactly the same moment I do each day. 

Let's get out there and make a new {maybe momentary} friend today.

Coffee House

Happy Valentine's Eve!  

While some of you have plans for a romantic night out {or in} with your sweethearts, I have plans to celebrate my mother's birthday with my family and snuggle with my little furball tomorrow night.

In lieu of the traditional Valentine's post, I thought I'd share something that I wrote last June. Last June, you ask? Yes. It was a few months after ending my 6 year relationship. I had just found out a few things that drove away any doubt that I did the right thing in ending it. I spent a few weeks in tears learning of these events, but then woke up one morning feeling completely and utterly happy and content. I had my mourning period - delayed three months and only lasting two weeks - but I had a new sense of clarity. This post is empowering for me, and I hope any of you single, brokenhearted friends out there find some kind of comfort in it. The heart-wrenching pain I felt then dulls in comparison to the happiness I have found in being true to myself and my dreams.
__________________________

I'm sitting at my favorite spot in town. It's a coffee house that used to be an inn. Huge and open with beams and the coziest fireplace, this is where I go when I need to concentrate. Something about the sound of the espresso machine and happy chatter makes for perfect white noise. Maybe it brings me back to the hours I spent in my favorite coffee shop in college writing papers, studying, and more often than not, laughing the afternoon away with my friends.

The funny thing about a building is that so much can happen under one roof, without anyone else being any wiser. My life changed in a big way at this place, and until now, only one other person knew that. His life changed in a big way too that day, in this place. 

It was the last coffee together. The last attempt to have a decent conversation. So much had been said by now. Words that couldn't really be taken back, despite promises that they were never meant to hurt. So many actions that hurt more than words ever could. This was last chance to see if what we had a few years ago had even a flicker of life left in it. 

It didn't. 

We both knew it, knew it for months, but neither one of us would admit it. 

So much had happened, had changed, and our lives were on two very different paths. The life he pictured for himself was one with which I would never be content. The life I am so determined to live was one that he resented. We had nothing in common except for each other.

As I sit here, in the coffee house, looking out the window to the table on the porch where I last went with him, I am having a lot of trouble concentrating, which is the opposite intent of me being here in the first place. For some reason today I can't stop thinking about him, about us, and what we might have been. 

But then I think of what would have been if we had stayed together, and I smile to myself, knowing that my choice to end that chapter was the beginning of a lifetime of adventure.

That day I was hit slapped with a big reality:

True love will not resent and limit your dreams.

Remember that ladies. Or gentlemen. Or whomever might be reading this blog. It is something I already knew, but I didn't fully understand the magnitude of it until that moment.

That day at the coffee house, I finally let my brain and my heart work together, something that I had been preventing for a very long time.  I think my biggest and only regret is that I let myself stay in a situation that was less than desirable for so long when I knew what I should have done months, maybe even years, before. Words can't express the relief that I felt leaving him that day, knowing the fighting, resentment and cutting words were over. Words also can't express the heartache I felt watching him walk away, knowing he would never hold me again or watch me walk down the aisle one day. 

This post isn't at all what I intended to say when I began writing it. I hadn't any intention of sharing anything about my breakup with him. I hope, in some small way, it inspires you to listen to your heart and never settle for anything less than your dreams. 

Be true to yourself, not matter how hard that might be. In the end, the initial pain will dull in comparison to the pain of a life not fully lived. - Michaela's Philosophy of Life, written after hours, days, even months of thought on the matter.

Today, I am happier and more determined than ever to live my extraordinary life, which is what this blog is all about.
__________________________

Sending you all my love this Valentine's Eve.

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind.

It is not jealous, it is not pompous,

it is not inflated, it is not rude,

it does not seek its own interests,

it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,

it does not rejoice over wrongdoing

but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

{Playing in the snow that Nemo left behind over the weekend. I'm a child at heart.}

This was one of the readings at church a few Sundays ago. I thought it was the perfect timing for this reading. Not only because Valentine's Day is drawing near, but because our world seems to be in desperate need of love lately. So many terrible events that have claimed lives, ruined lives, and caused unimaginable pain and anguish. However, after all these terrible events, the continuous outpouring of love and compassion is always astounding. Love like this should be shown and practiced on a daily basis, not necessarily reserved for times when tragedy strikes.

These verses are also a constant reminder of the love every person deserves. No one should ever settle for anything less. Relationships and people are never perfect, but unconditional love is truly perfect. I've come very close for settling for something that resembled love, but during times of trial {sometimes during everyday life too} it never lived up to this simple description. 

I sat in church smiling last Sunday, because though I've heard this reading dozens of times, I finally understood it. Something so simple held a new world of meaning. It tells me how to love in every aspect of my life. Not just romantically, but towards my peers, my friends, and strangers. It's funny how a few words can open your eyes and your heart. Especially when it's something that you've listened to over and over but never really heard before. My goal for this year is to love. I think my heart was finally ready to understand how I will make that happen.

God works in funny ways.